So much to say – so little time. We have less than 2 hours until Florida and Houston tip off in San Antonio to play for the National Championship!!!!
Thanks to the rain, Charlie and I can not re-do Ball Don’t Lie. Which is probably for the best considering that the Ball was a horrible liar this year. When Charlie won for Auburn and I won for Duke, our championship game was doomed. The Ball went 0-3 when Charlie’s massive domination over me in 21 implying that Auburn would win tonight was ridiculously wrong. I probably should thank the rain so I don’t have to watch Charlie destroy me a second time in basketball as I wheeze and almost pass out from the small amount of running that I would have to do.
But I feel like I do have to say something about the game before I rant about the articles that I have been reading about. Or maybe I still have time to grade the conferences. Who knows where the Lunatic will go – since he currently doesn’t.
I already mentioned my sadness about the coaches. Apparently, I am not the only person who can not forgive Kelvin Sampson for his recruiting past since I saw a few stories that made sure to mention his disaster at Indiana. I want to be excited about the game – so I can’t let myself go down that road.
So I will use this as a chance to call out my successful handicapping for the season. Because it brings up some interesting thoughts. Going into the Final Four, I was up $47 (thanks to being up huge on the over/under – as all of you would expect). At that time, I decided I was playing with house money and so was going to bet my max on all the remaining bets.
Sure enough, I got Florida right and the over wrong in the first game. And then got the over right and Duke wrong in the second game – as I watched the Blue Devils collapse. So, while I thought I would be locked tonight, I find myself up $41 going in to the final.
Then, I thought about it. It has been a rough March. Boilers lost in heart-breaking fashion, no Cinderella got past the first weekend, Houston ruined my chance to claim I got the championship game correct – in fact, other than Cinderella, Houston has been killing me softly with its aggressive defense.
The realization came to me that no matter what I do, if I bet the max, Houston would figure out a way to cause me to lose my last chance of winning in March. If I pick them, they will get trounced. If I pick against them, they probably score the last 20 points of the game to beat Florida. It might be only imaginary money at the Lunatic Casino, but it would be one last way for the Cougars to sink their teeth into me and chew me up.
Then, I realized I only have one choice. I have to learn from the Duke collapse. I can complain about the bad call on Flagg. I can complain about the fouling on out-of-bounds play. But Houston didn’t hack the Blue Devils for the entire last 10 minutes. All the most efficient offense in college basketball had to do was score more than 1 field goal over a 10 minute span, and they probably make the lead too much to overcome.
There was even a funny quote I saw (although based on some things I have been seeing, I don’t know that I can trust that it wasn’t simply an AI generated piece of garbage). Someone was telling Kelvin Sampson as he was walking in the tunnel that his Cougars had just made the largest comeback in Final Four history, and he asked how far they were down. The person informed him they were down 14, and Sampson without missing a beat said, “Thank God it wasn’t 17.”
Duke had the chance to put this game away before any heroics could happen, and they simply couldn’t. And so the Lunatic is learning his lesson. I can play with the Lunatic Casino’s money and not lose. Betting my $20 bet for both means that I can’t leave the Lunatic Casino Sportsbook with anything less than a $1 victory, and hopefully another comp at the Lunatic Casino Buffet – fantastic imaginary prime rib.
So here are my thoughts of what will happen tonight. Obviously, there are countless numbers of outcomes – from massive comebacks to close games to complete blowouts. In my mind, there are three most likely outcomes.
- Florida learns from the Duke Blue Devils, and they speed the game up in a way that only the Gators can. While they might turn the ball over more often than they are used to and the game might get sloppy, a fast paced game is the only way to beat the Cougars. Get more possessions so that you can take advantage of the times that you will go on a run – since you can expect Houston will have a run where they stop you 4-5 times. Let Walter Clayton Jr do what he does – hit big shots when he is closely covered, and let him carry you to a victory. In this scenario, Florida wins, covers the -1, and the game total goes over 141.
- Since it is hard to do, as much as Florida wants to speed the game up, Houston turns the game into a complete slog, struggling to get their offense set up until the last 10 seconds of the shot clock, and then harassing the Gators relentlessly causing them not to get good shots. It becomes a game where the first team to 60 wins, and when that happens, Houston always seems to be that team. Remember the Cougars holding Tennessee to 50 points – it is a replay of that game. In this scenario, Houston wins and the game doesn’t get close to 141.
- After the Duke game and some of the criticism on the weak call on Cooper Flagg, the referees decide that they are not going to allow the game to get out of hand. And everything becomes a foul. The Gators foul the Cougars. Then the Cougars foul the Gators. It becomes the longest game in NCAA history because all that happens is the players keep going to the free throw line. It becomes unbearable to watch as there is no flow to the game. But eventually, Florida starts to pull away because of the two teams likely to adjust to the game being called tight, the Gators will pull back first and take advantage of the horrible foul trouble for the Cougars. Florida wins the game, and covers the over thanks to all the free throws that they hit with the clock stopped.
So, I have the result that would probably make me happiest (a fun, fast-paced game with lots of scoring), the result that I could tolerate but would prefer it not to be (a slow, physical defensive game where no one can score), or the result that would make me miserable (the referees destroying the game and making me stay up so late that I go delusional).
If my scenarios are right, two of the three scenarios say take Florida and the over. By the way, there are only two realistic choices – you either pick Florida and the over, or you pick Houston and the under – otherwise, you are just giving the Sportsbook the Vig for when you win one bet and lose the other. But I digress….
I will take Florida and the over, knowing that the worst thing that can happen is that I will win by $1. No matter how badly Houston wants to beat me, I will at least walk away with my Handicapping victory! I am going to pick Florida to win based on my first scenario – since that will be a fun game to watch. I am nervous with the way that March has gone, I will be watching the third scenario.
So – there is the Lunatic’s handicapping of the game. No using a random basketball. No coming up with any solid handicapping like Clayton will be unstoppable off the drive on offense, while Cryer will go cold from the field. Simply thinking of the most likely scenarios, thinking of the one he least wants to see, and figure that is the one that will happen.
Lets hope that March proves him wrong and we have a fun, exciting game between the Big 12 champion and SEC tournament champion.